#booknerdigans

New Year, New Plans, New Hopes by Ryan Hill

 

Welcome to 2017.

Are you excited? Petrified? As wild as 2016 was, 2017 could be an even crazier ride. Somethings, LIKE GETTING MARRIED, I'm very excited about. Others? Cautiously optimistic... emphasis on cautiously.

But one area I'm excited about for sure is books!

There's going to be a lot happening in the world of books this year, and by "world" I mean myself. These things are happening for sure:

  • Bart of Darkness: The Book of Bart - Verse 2 (May 23) - Yup! It's happening! All I can really tell you about it at the moment is Bart and Sam are both back. Quite the tease, amirite? LOLOLOLOLOLZER 
  • New branding - Everything from my website to swag to book covers is getting a face lift. All of it. The covers are going to look uniform, like they came from the same author. The website/author logo stuff will probably have a similar feel. I can't say for sure, because a new logo image hasn't been selected!
  •  A Book of Bart prequel starring Sam - This short story has been on the back burner entirely too long. I'm currently polishing it up, then unleashing it upon the world. It basically shows how Sam came to need Bart's help in Verse 1. This will most likely be a free download for anyone who joins my newsletter.
  • Utopia Con 2017 - I'll be back in Nashville this year with my amazing fiancee for the latest iteration of Utopia Con, which features WARM BODIES author Isaac Marion as the featured speaker. Will I bring my copy of BODIES and it's sequel - coming soon - for him to sign? There's a fair chance. 
  • Oct. 29, 2017 - Save the date, cuz I'm gettin married!!!

These are the things I want to happen, or at least I'll start on them on 2017:

  • Bart's Inferno: The Book of Bart - Verse 3 - Oh... oh my. Did I just reveal a third Bart book and it's title? I think I did.
  • Another Bart short - I'd like to do one or two of these a year. We'll see how well that works out.
  • A super secret collaboration with my fiancee - No, this isn't the wedding. Yes, that's super, but it's not a secret. No, we're not eloping. Yes, we are working on something together. And it's going to be pretty awesome. At least, I think so.
  • Blog more - It's bound to happen at some point... right?
  • Attend more book conferences - Money is the big obstacle here, but I hope to attend at least three this year. 
  • Read more - Because everybody says this.
  • Lose weight - I need to. And because everyone says this.

That's it for me. Hope everyone has a great 2017!

On being 36-years-old by Ryan Hill

 

No joke, that title felt weird to write. It brings up so many thoughts. Where the time went, what to do with the time ahead of me, and the fact that in the grand scheme of things I'm not old, but hot damn. I'M 36.

Pretty much

Pretty much

Getting older is always something you worry about when you're younger. Twenty-somethings fret over every birthday, because it brings them one digit closer to the end-all, be-all that is thirty. Why? Because it's a number all of us have seared in our brains as TIME TO GET YO SHIT TOGETHER AND BE A REAL, ACTUAL ADULT. Heck, my mom cried when Dad turned 30.

Guess what? Being in your thirties really isn't that bad. At all. I prefer it to being in my twenties.

I was a friggin mess in my twenties. I was still trying to figure life, the universe, and everything out with little success. I didn't have a foothold in, well, anything. My early-to-mid twenties were mired in a haze of longing for my college days while trying to figure out the whole adult thing. My late twenties were more about trying to squeeze as much fun in before the big three-oh hit. I even wrote a manuscript about a guy reflecting on his life before he turns thirty. I can't say I was a mess about it, but some people are.

My thirtieth birthday turned out to be kind of a baptism by fire into "adulthood." I'd discovered someone stole my mail, taking checks intended to pay bills and counterfeiting them to buy stuff to the tune of $800.

Welcome to adulthood, Ryan! Here's a swift kick in the ass to get you started!

It really was kind of a harbinger of things to come. My thirties have by far been the most difficult decade of my life, but it's also been the most rewarding. I've become a published author. I still get to review movies, i.e. see them for free before everyone else and write about them. More than that, other things happen in your thirties that are pretty awesome.

Mainly, you stop giving a flying f--k about everything. By everything, I don't mean ev-er-y-thing, but everything that doesn't really matter in the grand scheme of things. With some life experience under their belt, people settle into themselves in their thirties, and with that comes a level of comfort with who you are - some might even call it self esteem - that elevates you above worrying about whether someone thinks you're full of it, and other assorted items like that. Ya just don't care. And it's a wonderful thing. It builds up confidence, and makes dealing with all the B.S. that life throws at you that much easier to handle.

Granted, being in your thirties does have the drawback of OMGZ MY BODY WON'T STOP FALLING APART.

This part is actually worse for me, since I blew my back out six-years-ago doing too much weight on a Lat Row Machine. I've got two ruptured discs that irritate the Sciatica in my left leg. It's been awful. But enough about me.

I liken the physical deterioration in your thirties to a toy. When it's new, everything is strong and sturdy, but over time, wear and tear sets in. Some things don't work as well as they used to. That's kind of what your body is like in your thirties. It's not terrible, but you do notice the changes, which range from achy joints to inability to stay up late, less tolerance to extreme cold or heat, etc. Basically, if you blew out your knee at some point, that knee is going to remind you of it on an almost daily basis in thirties. Your hair also turns grey on a more steady basis, but that's kind of whatever. It doesn't bother me at all.

So to anyone afraid of turning 30, don't be. Like everything else, it's a mix of good and bad. Sure, it's different and your mortality starts coming into focus, but that's not necessarily a bad thing. Then again, as someone who's never been married, has no kids, a spotty (at best) relationship record, I could be talking out of my ass.*

I pretty much always reserve the right to admit I'm talking out of my ass. If I'm wrong on something, so be it.

 

 

#UtopYA2015! by Ryan Hill

 

Greetings!

Some exciting stuff going on the next couple of weeks. HOW EXCITING, you ask? Hoooooo boy. I wish I could say I won the lottery, but it's pretty exciting nonetheless.

Tomorrow, well technically starting tonight, since I'll be making the first part of the 8+ hour drive tonight with a layover at my parents' house, I'm on my way to UtopYA2015 in Nashville!


It's going to be a blast. At least, it better be. Otherwise, somebody's car is getting keyed. But I'm pretty confident it's going to be amazing, so everyone should be safe from my keys o' doom. I'll be signing books on Friday, giving out sweet, soap-based swag (brain soap, Doctor Who Tardis soap), candy, and I'm even having a contest where you can win some pretty nifty Doctor Who items!

Anyone who signs up for my newsletter at UtopYA will receive one free entry into the contest, and an extra five entries will be given to those who buy one of my books (ten extra entries if both are purchased). Winners will be chosen using a random number generator online, and will have the option of picking one of these prizes:

A Doctor Who (10th Doctor) Mr. Potato Head

Doctor Who exploding TARDIS mug

A Dalek

he giveaway will only be happening Friday, since that's the day I'm signing books. If you're in or around Nashville, come on down!

But the exciting news doesn't end there!

Both THE BOOK OF BART and DEAD NEW WORLD have been selected by Amazon to be Kindle Daily Deals! This has the potential to be HUGE. Like... win the lottery huge.

Sooooo many new sets of eyeballs will see my books for the first time, and there's all kinds of potential to crack the Kindle Marketplace Top 100, and maybe even more than that! However, I'm going to need your help do this.

I've got a Thunderclap campaign set up for BART, and need at least 100 people to sign up in order for the campaign to take place. All you have to do is go to the campaign page, sign up, and Thunderclap will send out the message for you.

How flippin' easy is that? Plus, you're helping someone, which has to feel good. Doubly so since it's me you're helping. 

Volunteer for THE BOOK OF BART's Thunderclap here

 

THE BOOK OF BART won a humor award!!! by Ryan Hill

 

So, remember (or not; the point is I REMEMBER) how THE BOOK OF BART was named a finalist in the 2014 USA Best Book Awards - Humor category? Guess what? Another contest, the Next Generation Indie Book Awards, a fine institution with a superior sense of humor to the USA Best Book Awards, has named THE BOOK OF BART as Best Humor/Comedy novel in their 2015 awards!!!!!

Yes, everyone's favorite well-dressed demon is also the funniest demon... at least according to the Next Generation Indie Book Awards. And that's just for 2015. Next year it could be something completely different. Who knows with these things? 

 

Regardless, thanks so much to the Next Generation Indie Book Awards for recognizing THE BOOK OF BART!!!


The Six Stages of Reading George R.R. Martin's A SONG OF ICE AND FIRE series by Ryan Hill

 

One doesn't simply sit down to read George R.R. Martin's mammoth A SONG OF ICE AND FIRE series. It's an investment in time. LOTS of time. YEARS even. For anyone who reads a lot, each entry in the series (five and counting) is so friggin long, they're the equivalent of three to four "normal length" books. That's not to say the books aren't fantastic, they just require you to give up years of your life to finish them.

So, while you're reading the books, partly for enjoyment and partly because you refuse to let the GAME OF THRONES TV show never, ever, ever rip your heart and your guts out at the same time again, that pile of books sitting on the book shelf waiting to be read only grows larger, adding to the anxiety that your life is spinning out of control because these books are so time-consuming and you'll never reach a point where you can read a book not written by George R.R. Martin in this lifetime. 

Now...

Stage One: Excitement

That's right! Screw you, HBO! You're not going to pull another Red Wedding on THIS guy. I'll already know what's happened! LET'S DO THIS

Stage Two: The crushing blow of reality

Okay, been reading A GAME OF THRONES for a few weeks now, and... shit. Over 600 pages to go. This is really good and all, but damn.

Stage Three: Depression

Three months in. Still 400 pages to go. Most of my relationships never lasted this long. Body shutting down. Tell Mom I love her.

Stage Four: Hope

Only 200 pages to go! Heads are getting lopped off left and right! I can see the finish line!

 

Stage Five: Triumph

Oh yeah! Just finished a 900 page book! It's Miller Time!

One down... wait.

No.

No...

Four to go? At least the ones that have come out? So, after knocking out 900 pages, there's still 4,000 more to go? I WILL NEVER CATCH UP TO THIS DAMN SHOW. 

Stage six: Complete and utter defeat

Just... go on without me. Try to remember the good things we shared. I'm not getting out of Westeros with my head attached to my body.



On Getting a Bad Review by Ryan Hill

 

For writers, a good review is like an elixir. A validation of their talent. A sign that yes, a writer has talent, and now they have the glowing review to prove it. Sure, everything comes up aces when the good reviews are coming in, but what about those times when a writer gets a bad review?

Of course authors want everyone on the planet to love their book. To laud it as the next Harry Potter, or shout from the rooftops that the world has found the next John Green. That's human nature. Sadly, for whatever reason, if enough people read your book, bad reviews are absolutely going to follow. 

A bad review can wound an author's soul. Send them into a tailspin. Don't believe me? Click here. Every book an author writes is intensely personal. This isn't just a novel. It's their novel. It's a piece of their soul. As such, the work is sometimes thought of as the author's kid, or something along those lines. This makes a bad review all the more painful.

You can't please everyone. It's science. So what if someone doesn't like a book? Writers read books they don't like too. They may have a greater appreciation for the time it takes to create a published novel, but it won't change their opinion on whether or not it's any good. Also, once a writer sends their work out into the world, technically it isn't theirs anymore. A writer has no control over their work once it's in the hands of someone else. So why get upset when things don't turn out well? A bad review isn't an indictment of the writer as a person (or as a writer). And if a bad review comes across that way, then the reviewer is either jealous, looking for attention, is a massive tool, or all of the above. Just like when I get shot down by a beautiful woman at a bar, a writer shouldn't take rejection by a reader to heart. Sometimes, it's just not in the cards. For whatever reason, it wasn't meant to be.

Instead, a writer needs to focus on the positive. Yes, a writer got a bad review, but think about all of the success it took to get the book into the hands of a negative reviewer. If a writer gets a negative review, it typically means that writer is good enough at writing to be PUBLISHED. That's a big effin' deal. Looking at it like that, a writer shouldn't care about a negative review. I don't. With two published novels under my belt, I'm secure enough in my abilities as a writer that a couple of bad reviews aren't going to burst my bubble. Point in fact, I'd like to see them do better (because they can't).

So let go, move forward, and keep writing!