The Fiancee and I Started the Whole 30 Program / by Ryan Hill

 

On Monday, my wonderful fiancee and I started - at her request - the Whole 30 program, a super-strict version of the paleo diet that causes sadness, despair, hunger, and potentially some weight loss.

The gist of the program is that for 30 days, it's all about the natural foods - meat, vegetables, fruit. Nothing processed. Nothing with sugar. No bread. No pizza. No alcohol. The program is nothing short of an evil scheme to make people like me suffer to no end. And lose some weight. 

Honestly? It's not that bad. I try to eat well, so the eating part isn't too bad. I will miss pizza. And popcorn. And chocolate. And all these other things that are awful for you.

Like soda.

Diet Sunkist is my happy morning drink. I'm not huge on coffee - NO CREAMER FOR WHOLE 30 BY THE WAY - so DSK puts a smile on my face. My wonderful fiancee feels my soda "dependency" needs to be broken. I disagree. But that's not even the worst of it. Zero alcohol can be consumed during this program. 

None.

Zip.

Nada.

That reason alone makes me think whomever created the Whole 30 program should have to dip themselves in honey and sprinkles, then lets ants crawl all over them. All the while listening to a never-ending loop of Creed. That way, their mind, body, and soul will all be attacked, giving them an idea of what this program - on its third day, no less - is doing to me.

I'll provide updates as this goes along, but for right now, I MISS FOOD.